will pay 10k to whomever can most satisfactorily translate the following into something intelligible

Basically it's people from wales are stronger then others. And that wives are terrible cooks and make you fat. People are a tiny blimp and no one should care about human conflict because it's pointless. All infrastructure dies and the world turns into a real life version of that tv show revolution. It's really all gibberish to me also, I'm not fluent in "lifting". But there you have it, an intelligent summarization of whatever that dude thought was clever and witty.

[21:21] <Stellar> "Come to wales to help you in your weighlifting carerr"
[21:21] <Stellar> "We have bees, bees are good"
[21:21] <Stellar> "/invade"

very strong showings so far, I will determine who the 'winner' is in a couple of days

runners-up may also receive prizes depending on my mood and et cetera

I think he is saying, that whatever you do, when you are living in Wales, you will somewhen have to make the decision of either moving to Wales (where you clearly aren't living already in his assumptation, so I guess he warps you outside of Wales to let you make that decision) and getting married with a totally awesome woman or you can continue doing what you are doing, which somehow means that you'll continue living in Wales.

This leads to the conclusion that, according to him, whatever you do, if you live in Wales, you can't escape and the only decision you can make is whether you want or not want getting married to a totally awesome woman.


Everything else is just there to make him sound more intelligent with random stuff that nobody can understand, because actually the stuff is not even making any sence (Like what is a fox doing in a text about lifting and Wales). And finally he uses one of your comics (which is the only really intelligent thing in the whole post), which is also totally related to the previous part of his post, to give his post a more intelligent impression.

Do you even engage in the exercise of lifting objects to build muscle my friend?

If you do engage in the exercise of lifting and are not from the city of Wales, than I think lifting would be a waste of your time.

If you do move to the city of Wales I am sure that your muscle mass would increase significantly, as well as the efficiency of all of the various systems that work together in your body, thus you would be healthier simply because of the fact that you moved to the great city of Wales.

However if you do not move to the city of Wales, than I think your futile attempts to exercise would be for not, and you might as well become pray for a wild animal higher up on the food chain than you do to the fact that your exercising away from the city of Wales would be in vain.

If you do exercise away from the city of Wales, than you would probably end up marrying a prostitute who would feed you generous amounts of food every night which would cause you to acquire large amounts of body fat, clogged arteries, and an unhealthy lifestyle therefor your hard work exercising would be wasted.

Sincerely, Uberdemon

PS

Here is some food for thought if you haven't already found this,

Here's what I gleaned from that post:

1. He does not think that you lift weights.
2. Apparently if you do not come from Wales, you will get no gains from lifting weights and should stop bothering.
3. If you were actually from Wales and did in fact lift weights, this is still not good enough as you are considered to be lower in the food chain than a lowly fox (insert viral video here).
--3a. Going by the above, simply not having your roots in Wales puts you even further below the fox on the food chain.
4. Assuming you do not have your origins in Wales, apparently moving to Wales will make up for this and result in immediately larger muscle mass.
5. However moving to Wales - lifting weights now or no - will most likely result in marrying a bad chef who will immediately make you fat and render your gains from lifting useless.
--5a. On the other hand, continuing as you are will result in you being eaten by an animal higher up the food chain (e.g. Cougar).
6. "Have you seen this comic that you made?"

So, in short:
No matter what you do you will never rise above the lowly fox on the food chain, but moving to Wales may allow you to get close at the expense for becoming fat.
or alternatively:
In the end, nothing really matters so why bother?

move to wales to imediatley start lifting, bcuz lifting in wales.

You're all missing the point here. A marvel of modern literature like this requires a dedicated and detailed textepexegesis.

This is, in my opinion, most likely an allusion to the 19th century romantic era. We are shown a large array of different cultures, namely Asian culture and Xzibit. The catchphrase "Do you even lift bro?" refers to the Romantic fixation on the body. As we all know, the romantic era was an era coupled with spiritualism and connection with nature. The human body plays a great role in this. Beautiful combination of scenery, imagery and literature.

Ah, a lapse back into time. With this deductive logic, we go back some 200 years and we end up in the age of Enlightenment. The reasoning used in this passage is a literary wink to the exact same reasoning used in the 17th century. We can tell, by this excerpt alone, that whoever wrote this was a literary genius.


Another marvel here. First of all, the author creates what we call a 'smokescreen' in literary terms. At first, it seems as what we are reading is nothing but a blur of terms that don't make up a coherent unity at all. Boy, were we wrong. When you click on the link that is intrically sown into the verse, you are taken to another video fragment. We are taken to a completely new era now: the 21st century. While I saw this pearl of modern art, I had what one may call the Stendhal Syndrome. I was absolutely overwhelmed by the beauty of this contemporary installation and actually had to pause the video at the 1:40 mark to stop the tears from coming. We see a lot of nature, animals and a whole array of people in animal costumes. This, ofcourse, refers to the duality of man - one side is civilised, obedient, the other side is as an animal, wild, ferocious, ... The notion of "Wales" will again take us to the romantic era. We all know Wales has extensive scenery and natural landscapes. "Wales" also implies the notion of a certain mysterious and fairy-like language that could only be understood after thorough study.

The fox is often associated with trickery and deceit, which, again, adds force to the "smokescreen" the author created. This is simply beautiful.

Ahh. Like a good espresso or a cuban cigar, this passage contains a balanced blend of flavours. First we have an extension of the previous passage, indicating a strong will and a certain "unwillingless" to leave the past behind.

Second, we return to the age of enlightenment and we see a false dichotomy. Apparently the author forces us to face an impossible dillemma between two seemingly impossible choices.

As I understand it, we're given two choices:
"Move to wales" to me signifies following the past (the romantic era) and clinging to the old powers we know. As pointed out earlier, the author is a child of the romantic era and does not know differently.

"End up being cougar prey" implies death and thus a departure from the romantic era and the beginning of a new journey through another literary world, here unspecified.

Again, there are some beautiful contradictions in this passage. The first choices actually puts "change" into words but implies staying on track. The second choice uses "continue" but actually implies change?

Ist das nicht wunderbar?

Ahah. There we have it, what I was expecting to come has finally arrived. Here we have the first reference to the vanity of modern society. We are taken to a new image of a woman psychologically abusing her husband, a theme we know from the late 1990s. Criticism on contemporary life. Love it.

The author decies to keep it classy and ends his or her whole paragraph with a "sincerely,". The pseudonym "Proud rider of the short bus" is accompanied by a drawing of, indeed, a short bus. As to follow the theme of medieval heraldry, the colour gold (or 'Or' in heraldric terms) refers to the beauty and richesse of the owner of the coat of arms. It may suggest the author is rich or of royal descent.

This passage is followed by a short tableau by an early David Chen. Of course, the vanity of current society is again accentuated here. We see how the author quotes Chen where he alludes to the daily materialistic views of the world we all have to cope with. He then implies that nothing of all that is worth its time and as such refers to the Romantic era once again.

hanz0, I greatly enjoyed dissecting this little wonder of modern literature. To me personally, it's been a rollercoaster of emotions and literary prowess, two elements the author of this text clearly masters.

Did UberDemon really link your own comic to you? Or was this sent to someone else.