I don't know if it'll help you, but it managed to help me through a similar situation.
Physicist speech
There's no shame in letting go once in a while, there's moments when even the toughest of us start to show a few cracks. Best thing I can say is to keep your chin up. Go see him, even if it's for a short while, but do it for him and yourself. I can definitely understand why you don't want to see him like this, but in my experience, it's better to see them while you can, rather than to regret not going later.
Most importantly, do what you feel is right. Ignore all of this if it helps. Do it your own way, take comfort from those around you, whatever's better for you.