well with music it's like i still love it but ... you know ... well even i don't know ... 2 years ago when i was at school all i was thinking was " oh ,so that scale would work with that chord and those 3 chords would make such a nice harmony" and my dreams were about getting some recording gear for christmas from my parents . Now when i'm at school all i think is "fuck ,3 more hours,i am so sleepy... oh fuck it ,i am going to sleep on the desk in this very moment".And then i get home ,grab my acoustic guitar because it's always next to my bed,noodle and then do random stuff not even connected with music... at the time when i was still in middle school i wanted to learn so much music - i wanted to learn every single one of hendrix's solos note to note ,i wanted to learn to play jazz,i wanted to start writing good songs and now i kinda don't give a shit ... i listen to hendrix's solos and i try to learn them but it always seems like it doesn't teach me anything new ... sometimes i feel like i can play everything although i know i can't (i hope you get what i mean). i just can't learn anything anymore ...

i just got home from a kind of rehearsal (damn i don't know how to call it ... i came there 4 years ago for the first time and we played in a group and i really like the teacher so i kept coming and now he comes at my place once a week ,teaches me some muscial stuff and shows me recording tricks but he's more of a friend right now so i can't call it a lesson) where i play with some guys i don't really like but i keep coming because i get to actually play with people.the leader(let's call him that way) was teaching others some harmonic stuff that i already knew and i was just sitting there and thinking about random stuff after reading your posts about being depressed and i feel really down today ... i feel like the good times are so gone ... i don't know how old you guys actually are but i am 17 and i feel like having fun isn't the same anymore.you catch my drift ? I even remember playing toribash and the fun i had then ! i remember playing some basketball mod with jtank,hell that was good ! i was actually playing for fun then . Now i sometimes play league of legends (calssmates got me into it) with my friend and damn i can tell you it's not the same ... it's a "play to win" and nothing more . i really like the game ,i enjoy playing it but i don't REALLY have fun playing it.i wrote so much and i just lost the thought ... but i guess you guys get what i mean . don't you feel the same ? well you probably have some serious stuff to do right now but i am sure you felt that way in highschool ! all the guys at shcool only have fun getting drunk on friday nights . well sure i like to get drunk sometimes too(let's face it ,we live in a century of 13yo taking drugs so getting drunk is pretty normal in my age) but if i get to choose between partying and playing board games or go iceskating with my girlfriend ,i'd choose the second option . That being said i don't really have any real friends except for my girlfriend right now ... that's sad . not that i don't like my girlfriend but it'd be nice to have some other people to hung out with.ofcourse there are some guys that i like spending time with but they only call me when they feel like having a cigarette or talking while drinking beer ... it's nice but can't we just go for a walk and goof around outdoors ? most of people i know from school are all the same (you know ,the cool guys and their girlfriends who wear nike airmax shoes and listen to hiphop only) and they hate you just because you're not like that while they don't really know what you're like ... wtf people ? why can't we all like each other like in primary school ?

Yeah, I almost capped level with my bard in aion.

Thanks, luck Is all I count on
Anyway I really need to get off computer and start preparing for math and physics but I just can get myself to do it :|

Read my signature.

Worry not, I started "serious" preparations around a month before the exams and it was fine.



Talking of my social life, it's... uh. I dunno, I'm not going outside too much, haven't been to any clubs or parties. I'm mostly spending time with the flatmates or shit. I did make a few acquaintances at the uni, but nobody I'd give any extra attention. I'd also met with one girl from my clan in an online game I'm playing and am planning to meet more guys from the clan as they happen to live in Krakѓw for now as well. It's pretty funny, I might turn out to have more internet-based friends than "real" ones.
Duh.
Anyway, talking of how we're feeling, I'm a bit depressed at the way my life looks now. For some reason. I feel like I want to change something, but I don't know what.

Guess I'll change my breakfast cereal and that's it. Depression's cool anyway, as long as I'm not cutting myself or somebody else.


[Addicted] - Bunch of bitter faggots "R" us

@jtank ,
Maybe try listening to some happier music,huh ? It's seems to me like metal music gets people depressed cause all the metal guys i know are sad motherfuckers,lol.nah just kidding ,breakfast cereals will do ,i guess!

Maybe i'll post my picture in the activity check thread but i can't find an actual one right now . A pic with a fish i caught this summer (the only one i found on fb thats pretty recent)will have to be enough i guess ;P

Got from school earlier today but i kinda regret it ... I went to see the doctor (a piece of bone is missing in my spine,lol) and i have to wait in a huge queue... My visit is supposed to be in 5 minutes and the last who went in the room shouldn have gone there like an hour ago...

Edit:lol i just found out on which email address i have my password to the XmiechoX account so as soon as i get home i might be able to login .I might even play the game,haha.i guess playing together sometime would be fun ,lol. It would be so funny to watch each other fail so hard ! But i suppose you don't really have the will nor the time to play ;P

Well no, fuck my life, things were seemingly getting better. SEEMINGLY. I just fucking broke my tooth today. And not just some fucking tooth, the very front most one (upper left 1). Fucking hell.


Just make a new photo now. Lol. I'm almost feeling like taking a photo with this fucking chunk of my jaw missing, but nah, I'll pass.

Same here I guess. Idk whenever I talk to people or do something outside I just notice how fucking stupid/ignorant most of the people here are n then I just wish I stayed inside n did nothing.
Oh and I also don't even know why I'm studying. I'm serious. I thought it was something I actually wanted to do since I started going to school but right now I'm just like: Why am I doing this? The thing is there's only two things I really enjoy in life: Games & music. But I'm too lazy to self-learn programming and I'm way to un-artistic to be a designer or some shit and I'm a way too bad musician to turn that into a career. I've been thinking about what I actually want to do for a while and I still can't come up with anything I'd enjoy. The only thing I'm actually good at is doing nothing and procrastinating.

Also Addicted turned into Clan Therapy as it seems, haha.

kinda same here flxy but i enjoy books a lot too but what would i do with that ? become a fucking writer xD? nah...

BTW

Haha. Shit doesn't change, does it?

Anyway, not doing shit you like is pretty bad. I mean, I'm relatively interested in both the studies I chose and in most of those subjects, both important (such as chemistry) and useless (e.g. economy), useless as in not necessary for environmental engineering and stuff. I sort of have very very very slight idea of what I might be doing in the future and while I'm not sure if it'll be all cool etc., it at least should not be annoying stuff to do. And it should be sufficiently paid, and I will need monies to cover my life with plush penguins and plenty of alcohol to hide the pain of loneliness.
Not going for a job you'd enjoy (or at least relatively withstand) sucks dicks.


@and by the way, compare current posts to those from 2009. Derp. Hell, we matured.


By the way, it's funny how I was just recovering from a streak of bad mood. You want to smile, huh? Then fate will knock your teeth out, faggot.
I've already got a visit to dentist arranged on saturday >_>

how did you manage to lose your fucking tooth ?! i only see two options :
-some punching on the face involved
-some realy unfortunate accident
huh ?

I think i might study english language after highschool (well im not on a native speaker level but i am kinda good and i really like it ,i've even been reading some books in english recently) but what the hell am i going to do later ? be a fucking teacher in middle school and deal with all those fucktards again ? hell no !

I ate a piece of fucking bread and my tooth exploded. That's it.

And English is mostly meh.