Dude I'm so sorry to hear that! Stay strong, it can only get better from here on out.
I suggest trying to find peace and happiness in all the small joys in life, and cherish those positive thoughts. Write them down whenever you can, and don't focus on the negative when doing so. This will probably provide far too difficult to pick up at this most stressful moment, so for now you should just try to take it easy. Do try to pick it up soon, though, it will really benefit your mood to overthrow the bad thoughts with the good thoughts.
If you're really afraid of doing harm to yourself, then you should talk to a specialist. They'll be of greater help than we can be.
We're here for you. Know that we'll try to help you in any way we can, and we hope it will get better soon. You've been very brave for posting this here and now, I admire that. I hope you can bring yourself to talk about this problem to the people that are close to you as well. If you need our support with that, then you can definitely bank on us. ;)
Last edited by Slau; Apr 19, 2017 at 01:14 AM.