Book Of Cat
There was once a cat ninja called Winslow. He was a great warrior, the greatest warrior of all time.
He was so great that the amazing bearded god Zeus was defeated in a drinking game. They consumed 35908729357284057 gallons of alcohol in 10 minutes; it is proof of how great Winslow was.
An aftermath of this battle was that Winslow developped liver cancer. Winslow did not let that slow him down. He ripped out his liver and ate it to cure himself.
Jebus bowed down to him after that because, even Jebus can't heal liver cancer, it is the most deadly and fast-progessive disease ever. It kills people within 3.8 seconds of developping.
Afterwards Winslow travelled the land as a Prophet of the Legend of Winslow. He gathered many followers, they were armed with nucleur taco rockets and Mexican Fahitas.
They scoured the Earth of unwanted vermin such as the Legendary dog-lizard Cthulu. There were 038257 battles against the pitiful Cthulu, but he was finally killed.
During the last and greatest of these battles, Winslow suffered a great wound to the left upper center testicular right chest.
After 31257423 years Winslow perished from the wound, which caused great saddness throughout the land.
For many years after, his followers worshipped his greatness and loved him forevermore.