took a dump so big once it tore my ass and i had a man period for months

bmx long jump contest out of a flat bank(no curve/transition, just an angled slab)ive hit this jump countless times over the years, i start from the the fenceline like a football field away and just hauled ass through the gravel, make it to the road, go up the bank at lightninglenshu speed, jump, oh im kinda tilting sideways, oh shit im going really far ik im not gonna stay on the bike, lemme catch myself by putting my foot down when i land like ive done millions of times, i misjudged the height i was by a few inches so my leg had hyper extended as it made contact with the ground, leg kinda plants into the ground while the rest of my body and the bike are carrying their momentum, the back of my leg gets trapped by my peg while my foot is still planted, bike jerks and my foot gets under my tire and turns everything under the kneecap sideways, acl explodes, crippled for like 4 months before surgery and rehab could get done, still having to work to pay the bills but in a wheelchair, acl re-tears 3 months after rehab ended, crippled for 7-8 months and disappeared, finally get the courage for a 2nd surgery, go thru rehab, that was like 2 years ago now and my leg is prolly at 80-90% now, but i weigh like 50 lbs less, ALLL THATT from a tiny bunnyhop that i got unbalanced on, back then i rode 6-8 hours a day for the past 3-4 years and fell consistently without major injury on way more dangerous things, i did everything i normally would do in that specific situation, but my leg was just a second early and not far enough out for the peg. literally what happened was inches/seconds away from being nothing and instead i got 2-3 years of hellscape

but i can throw hop bars now so suck it surgeon that said i should live sedantary for the rest of my life

crossed myself over playing basketball and fractured my ankle.

back when I was 17, I was warming up for my tricking session. You know, in order not to injure myself while training.I started with ankles by jumping in place and about 4 jumps in I land on the outside of my toes, folding my ankle in half pretty much. A massive pop, and before I knew it I was lying on the floor in enough pain to make me pass out. I am now missing some ligaments in my ankle that completely snapped, so I am permanently injured for warming up before training. Haven't sprained my ankle in a while now though. Hopefully it stays that way.


Training without enough strength in my back to take impact has made my neck very susceptible to injury. A minor mistake in my movement can give me torticollis for a couple days. Since then I am stronger than ever, but the injury is unaffected. My chiro believes I have a misplaced cervical vertebra from this.


I threw a frisbee so hard once that my shoulder dislocated.


2 weeks ago my knee dislocated and popped back in place because I kicked out my legs to increase blood circulation. There's a video of that somewhere but I cba to find it.


I will be 23 this fall.

i think one REDICULOUS injury that i had is when i dislocated my knee doing a fortnite dance

this is such a skizz injury istg

someone had stored a heavy porcelain plate in the fridge unevenly and it fell on my foot when i opened it in the middle of my best cross country season

This post right here is a masterclass in subversion of expectations. Well played, sir. Well played.

stroked my cat that i had on my lap

minute later appears a ruler length slash in my arm

had the most insane morning wood just now shit busted through my trousers