Originally Posted by hawkesnightmare

Next you're going to tell me Glimpsed isn't really an owl.

Originally Posted by Tuna

So I was swimming along minding my own, and this happens to me:

hello

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Like WTF, I never did anything to him, he just fucking jumps out of a helicopter and starts to tackle me! What a douche bag.

Originally Posted by Zelda

Disclaimer

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Sorry, it is my eighteenth birthday party, I am drunk, it is 3:15 and I am probably one of only a handful of people who didn't score, I hold no responsibility to how unfunny or spammy my posts are. I mean people used my own fucking room for it, I DIDN'T GEET TO USE MY ROOM FOR IT, I LIVE IN A BIG HOUSE YOU SHOULDN'T STRUGGLE TO FIND FUCKING ROOMS FOR DOING IT IN! IT WASN'T EVEN HARD TO REALISE IT WAS MY ROOM! IT IS THE ONLY ROOM WHICH APPEARS LIVED IN AND IT EVEN HAS FUCKING UNICORN TOYS BY MY BED AND SHIT, IF YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW I LIKE UNICORNS, WHY DO YOU THINK YOU KNOW ME WELL ENOUGH TO COME TO MY PARTY IF YOU DON'T KNOW ENOUGH ABOUT ME TO RECOGNISE MY UNICORN OBSESSION! BUT NO, THEY JUST DRINK UP THE BEAUTIFUL BOTTLES OF SKITTLE VODKA I PREPARE MYSELF (USING KITCHEN TOWL TO REMOVE THE GUNK FOR THESE UNAPPRECIATIVE FUCK'S OVER ABOUT HALF AN HOUR OF MY OWN TIME) AND USE MY ROOM AT THEIR LEISURE. THEY LEFT HALF A FUCKING HOTDOG ON THE FLOOR, AND THE HOTDOG STAIN IT CAUSED PROBABLY WON'T COME OUT, INSTEAD IT SHALL REMAIN A CONSTANT REMINDER THAT PEOPLE CARE SO LITTLE ABOUT ME THAT I WILL BE OUT COMPETED BY MY SCHOOL FRIENDS EVEN ON MY EIGHTEENTH FUCKING BIRTHDAY AND SPEND THE NIGHT IN THE ARMS OF MY MACBOOK QWENDA WITH NOTHING BUT THE COLD, UNFEELING EMBRACE OF THE INTERNET TO CONSOLE ME AND CURE MY LONELINESS.

disclaimer

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sorry about that, as I am sure you can tell I am not taking this well. It was an ancient roman/greek themed party and not only had I put in the most effort into my costume by far, but I also stayed on the dance floor until literally everyone else was going or had gone to bed. A pretty fit drunk girl even gave me a speech about how my lack of experience was nothing to be ashamed of and that some girls find that attractive, all drunken bullshit, but I was drunk to, so the optimism was real. All the girls my own age decided it was a good idea to get too hammered to hold a conversation before my party (they did this at my fucking neighbour's (the neighbour being one of the girls) house) forcing all of them to head back to aforementioned neighbours house before the party really kicked off because aforementioned neighbour and two of the 5 girls were two drunk and had to be looked after by the other two. During the short time they were there they just stood in a circle talking to each other and nobody else throwing the gender balance to lean towards sausage party levels. The two girls a year younger than me had either got off with or got it on with someone within about an hour (one of whom then did so with another person the next hour). The only real plus side is that at the early stages of the party I asked someone if I could draw penises on his face if he fell asleep on the floor and he agreed. He is now asleep on the floor with "you agreed to this" written on his back as well as a penis on his back and on his right cheek.

But really.

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It wasn't so bad I had fun talking to people and I have never really had 'game' anyway.