One day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa smoking his cigarettes.
Little Johnny asked, "Grandpa, can I smoke some of your cigarettes?"
His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
"No", said Little Johnny.
His grandpa replied, "Then you're not old enough."
The next day, Little Johnny saw his grandpa drinking beer.
He asked,"Grandpa, can I drink some of your beer?"
His grandpa replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
"No" said Little Johhny.
"Then you're not old enough." his grandpa replied.
The next day, Little Johnny was eating cookies. His grandpa asked, "Can I have some of your cookies?"
Little Johnny replied, "Can your penis reach your asshole?"
His grandpa replied, "It most certainly can!"
Little Johnny replied, "Then go fuck yourself. These are my cookies!"
Love this one.
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Two gay men decide to have a baby. They mix their sperm and have a surrogate mother artificially inseminated. When the baby is born, they rush to the hospital. Two dozen babies are in the ward, 23 of which are crying and screaming. One, over in the corner, is smiling serenely. A nurse comes by, and to the men's delight, she points out the happy child as theirs.
''Isn't it wonderful?'' Brad exclaims. ''All these unhappy children, and ours is so happy.''
''He's happy now," says the nurse. "But just wait until we take the pacifier out of his ass.''
Last edited by proxun; Jan 14, 2013 at 11:38 AM.