That was awful, let me show you how it's done!
The Battle For The Dragon Age 2
In Keanu Reeves house, Shook abused his Dragon Age 2. He had been busy with the Dragon Age 2 for hours and now wanted nothing more than an exquisite cuddle or a blinding massage from his lover Tamer0.
He said this last thought out loud, and all of a sudden his utterly mediocre Tamer0 appeared at the door, grinning alluringly.
"Put down the Dragon Age 2," Tamer0 said unimpressively. "Unless you want me to abuse that Dragon Age 2 on your blubber."
Shook put down the Dragon Age 2. He was uninteresting. He had never seen Tamer0 so racist before and it made him dreadful.
Tamer0 picked up the Dragon Age 2, then withdrew a fedora from his maggot-infested right arm. "Don't be so uninteresting," Tamer0 said with a racist grimace. "A brony bit my index finger this morning, and everything became throbbing. Now with this Dragon Age 2 and this fedora I can unimpressively rule the world!"
Shook clutched his unhealthy index finger tragically. This was his lover, his utterly mediocre Tamer0, now staring at him with a racist maggot-infested right arm.
"Fight it!" Shook shouted. "The brony just wants the Dragon Age 2 for his own utterly mediocre devices! He doesn't love you, not the exquisite way I do!"
Shook could see Tamer0 trembling tragically. Shook reached out his blubber and touched Tamer0's maggot-infested right arm unimpressively. He was utterly mediocre, so utterly mediocre, but he knew only his unhealthy love for Tamer0 would break the brony's spell.
Sure enough, Tamer0 dropped the Dragon Age 2 with a thunk. "Oh, Shook," he squealed. "I'm so exquisite, can you ever forgive me?"
But Shook had already moved in Keanu Reeves house. Like AIDS., he pressed his blubber into Tamer0's maggot-infested right arm. And as they fell together in a throbbing fit of love, the Dragon Age 2 lay on the floor, dreadful and forgotten.