Shouldn't you have some cool story where all the 12 year olds try to start a fight with you but you beat the shit out of every single one of them then steal their girlfriends, Jalis? I mean I'm no expert myself but your post seems a little empty compared to the others.

My teacher never came so we were chillin me and some friends an my gf then a fat kid came and said:
<him>*Lol hello*With a stupid face
I made a eww face like go away then he said
<him>: what? you ain't scared faggot?
<me>: please leave im not in the mood
<him>: shut the fuck up fag
<me>: No, YOU shut the fuck up little fat bitch i'm not in the mood to hear a stupid guy.
<him>: *looked at my girlfriend*are you with this dickhead?
And my girlfriend laughed wich made me rage, then i invited him to fight then we were fighting OMFG he fights like a little girl hahahaha Oh well i only punched once in the face and he started cryng then he said
<him>:*almost cryng*chill out man :l
then me and my friends we ran because a teacher was coming o/.
The funnyest thing was that when i punched him in the face he fell to the floor then he tryed to act like nothing happend well that's my story.
Im lucky i didn't get in troubles now i call him fishi because of his middle name Pezkeira in spanish Pez means fish so meh i was bored

when i was in grade 9, i had a 5 foot f*ck all, fat kid who used to constantly annoy me or instigate me.. knowing that i took a little kickboxing, so i cant really just beat him up.
one day i was walking home with a friend and chris (fat kid) rides by on his bike and yells "fags"...
me and my friend mike look at eachother and just laugh..
we took the trail and ended up in front of chris, and he got a lil scared lol
he started to bike faster, but my friend mike, being a lil bit of a dick lol
chased him and grabbed the bike and said "you aint goin anywhere"
the fat kid jumped off his bike, and the lil basterd threw it at me! lol
he swung it and threw it right at my waist (he kinda failed with the throw)
i shook that off and was trying to recall if i had ever had a bike thrown at me b4 when i noticed he was reaching into his pocket, so i leaned back and kicked him in the side he was grabbing for.
Long story short, i kicked the stupid kid in hand and sprained his wrist lmao woops

Blackbear's story was funny, the rest are just stupid.

This wannabe gangsta guy i know was talkin to his friends how he invented this cool new thing that he calls lolcats, which in his words is 'funny wordz on a cat pic yo'.

My friend and I are pretty tubez-savy, and we both overheard him and looked at each other like the fuck is he talkin bout. So we turn to him and his gansta bros and ask him "Hey, so you invented lolcats?"
He looks at us like 'oh shit' then replied "Yeah man"
We just burst out laughing and said "geez, you made that like 2 years ago and you've only started bragging about it now? Thats awfully modest of you bro"
We just turned back to our conversation with some other mates, while the gangsta tried to explain how he'd been makin them to a while to his friends.

It was pretty funny.

Its always funny when people take credit for internet memes thinking nobody will notice :P

What I really hate, are idiots in my class, who think they are harder than everyone else.
He lined up to me and I just threw him on the floor, kicked him in the balls and now he follows me trying to be my friend because he's scared of me..
Oh and theres a boy called Charlie in my class. he pushed me so i said kiss my ass.. i got up and punched him in the nose.. the next day he come back tryna pick a fight so i got up and left then ran back and punched him straight in the stomach and kicked his head until he said STOP!
seriously noobs these days.

10/10, would read again.

THERE WAS THIS ONE TIME I PUNCHED A GUY AND HE DIED ALL OVER THE FLOOR. AMIDOINITRITE.

Oh yeah, I was there that day. How modest of you to omit the part where about 667 ninjas came through the window, to which you replied "Don't make me angry pal, you won't like me when I'm angry." pulled out your huge dick and windmilled them all into Oblivion.

Time to doing it right, you twits.

Anyways, on Thursday I had gym. Now, I come from an athletic family, so I like to excel, which some people say is showing off. An example of this would be, we were playing Ultimate Frisbee inside of our gym, freshman v. everybody else.
Thanks to an errant throw by the other team, it was down to two points. Our teacher who joined our team because we were losing by at least seven points threw a long pass which hit the back of the gym. The first two boys who were there missed the frisbee entirely. I dove for it, and ended up making the catch.
Down by only one point now. Next time we get the frisbee, it's down to about a minute left. Teacher throws another long one, which is slowly veering left. I was tracking it, trying to tie the game. Welp, I tracked it too hard. I ran knee-first into the wall before I could fully extend to make the catch. Of course everybody laughed, (whatever, must have looked pretty stupid) and I was bleeding a bit. Now, there's a kid in my gym period who hates my guts for no apparent reason. He was on my team, and wasn't doing much. The coach was tending to my knee, when he came over.

"Nice effort out there, BlackBear."
"Hey BlackBear, you fucking suck."

The coach was right next to me, and heard it.

"Office, now."
"WHAT I DIDNT SAY ANYTHING WHY I WAS JUST"
"Office, now."

Needless to say, I found him and his girlfriend outside later and beat him up, took his girlfriend, and had intercourse with her at a later date.

Some fat kid tried to beat me up for some reason, but I just walked backwards while he came after me, I still got away. I then told the teacher and he got in trouble, and I lawld.