i'm pretty sure i'm severely clinically depressed.
but i don't want to admit it to anyone out of fear that they'll laugh at me, or that i'll be put in a mental institution or have to go through intensive therapy.
i don't do well with therapy.
i don't do well with other people's grief.
i have my own shit to deal with, and it's pulling me down and down and down.
i dont want contact with anyone.
i dont care to see people happiness
when i have the chance to have the same happiness right in front of me
but its not working out
and i dont care to see people's grief
or sarcasm, or belligerence.
right now, i feel that bitter sweet moment i believe one does when their life flashes in front of their eyes right before they die.
no happiness, no sadness. just a neutral feeling of letting everything slip.
letting the darkness take over.
letting the darkness take over in hopes of a greater light on the other side.
fuck man.
i kinda wanna die.
i don't know who else to go too.
i can't go to my friends, they'll judge me.
i can't go to my mom, she'll over react
and the one person i can go too, dumped me, leaving me with nothing.
and the only reason i'm telling you guys,
is because i can.
and i don't know who you are
but i need to tell someone before the inside of me just explodes.
i just need to let the words out.
so i'm sorry for the long post.