Originally Posted by
warrior56
You have recently moved into a house with your wife, when one night, you had a dream. There as blaring music, bright lights, and the faint sounds of someone trying to get you up. It was a carnival, but the voices..You woke up, to find your wife gone, gone.
There are foot steps around the room, the window was wide open, and your Safe was knocked open. You decide to call police, there's a large search, but nothing was found. A week after, a small Child would float to your window, and look at you, tug at your arm, but you would dismiss it. When It came more active, the Child wanted you to follow, so you followed it.
It lead your far and wide, then you blankend out, afer you saw your wife's body.
Meh, Sucky.
Same crappy formula again. "You" wake up, wife gone, wife dead. Try something different, and use your imagination. And please, try writing something that makes sense. Seriously. Why was the safe open, what is that carnival shit, why the child? And why would someone dismiss a child tugging his arm? And why is it leading this guy far and wide, and where is the wifes body? God, you piss me off.
EDIT: Read this and see if you find it scary:
THIS IS THE STORY OF A DAY WHERE THERE WAS ALL THIS BLOOD. A MAN WAS WALKING AROUND AND BLOOD STARTED COMING OUT OF HIM EVERYWHERE. THERE WAS SO MUCH BLOOD THAT IT FILLED UP AN ELEVATOR. HE WENT TO THE STORE AND THERE WAS JUST BLOOD ALL OVER THE PLACE! PEOPLE WERE SLIPPING IN IT AND THEY WERE ALL GROSSED OUT. HE TRIED TO GO SWIMMING AND ALL OF THE SHARKS WENT NUTS AND BITTENED EVERYBODY. HE GOT CHASED BY ALL THE VAMPIRES EVER. ONE TIME THE BLOOD GOT A KID AND A DOG. AT THE END OF THE DAY EVERYONE DECIDED THEY WOULD SEND HIM TO SPACE SO THAT HE WOULD STOP GETTING BLOOD EVERY WHERE. THE SCARIEST PART IS THAT THE MAN WAS YOU!!! (OR HE WAS A LADY IF YOU ARE A LADY) AND YOU FORGOT THAT THIS HAPPENED!
Last edited by dalir; Dec 28, 2009 at 11:20 PM.