Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?
'cuz we're dense?
What is the speed of darkness?
69
Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?
I've never heard someone say that.
Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?
It's the paralympics. I find the way you phrased that question quite offensive.
Go die in a hole.
If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?
Well, it would either be 0 degrees celcius again the next day or if you use absolute zero it would be -273.15 degrees celcius.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Again, 'cuz we're dense?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?
Because it's good to have a different perspective of things.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'
I ask myself the same question all the time. I don't have an answer.
Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'
...That's a new one
Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Because indecent human beings eat it. You'll be surprised at how many of them own toasters.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
Because SCIENCE
Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?
Because the way we were bought up and the common values in today's society dictates that it is polite to leave the room when someone is changing.
If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
ahurrhurrhurr
testicle
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
Flowers of some description. Sicko.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Don't be silly, you moron
Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Because originality dissipated around the time when people started making educational songs.
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God I sounded so serious
jkjk
Last edited by Deeza445; Jul 28, 2012 at 11:32 PM.
Reason: <24 hour edit/bump