Haha, shit man, i love the way you write stuff. I've snickered heartily multiple times, yet i still found myself agreeing with some of the situations, most notably 6 and 7. Worst case of number 6 wasn't performed by a tableleg, but rather one of those stationary exercise-bicycles. I was just going to the other side of a table, so i made a quick clockwise semi-circle around it, and WHAM! Smashed my left little toe against the base of the bike, making me unable to run/walk properly for about a week.

But anyways, nice stuff. I'm usually not much for reading really long posts, but this was totally worth it. :U